Family · Motherhood · Tips

‘Growing Up’ by guest blogger: Kat

That is the moment we all dread, yet can’t wait for. Our kids take over our daily lives with their wants and needs that we diligently attend to. Even going to the bathroom is no longer a solitary event. We cherish the moments that we wish would never end, and get frustrated with the ones we wish would.

3065345_origThrough the years, we watch these little beings grow, some to tower over us by leaps and bounds. We watch the people that they will become and hope we have guided them in the right ways. Will they be respectful? Will they be able to get along with others? Will they have friends, girlfriends, or boyfriends? Who is going to endure the glares from mom when they break your child’s heart for the first time? Will we ever have to worry about the issue of suicide with our child, especially during those teen years that can be so difficult? What if my child is gay? What if they are not “normal” and accepted in the area we live in?

“So many questions, worries, and fears that go along with raising a child that we will not know the answers to until that time comes.”

If you line my boys up by height, their age goes the opposite way. My youngest is the tallest and the oldest is the shortest. Then, of course my middle son is stuck in the middle. He seems to have it in his head that the middle child is the forgotten one, yet when thinking back, he was the one who was most spoiled. He is the one who has had the most issues to deal with and the most over-dramatic.

My middle son is gay. I was the first to find out. I’m glad that we have a close enough bond that he felt comfortable telling me these things. His biggest fear was telling the other grown-ups in the family. He was afraid that they wouldn’t love him anymore. For some, they thought he was just confused, but they were willing to meet the boyfriend. Others just didn’t want to see it and didn’t want the boyfriend around. Imagine Thanksgiving dinner without your son, because his boyfriend wasn’t welcome in someone’s home and your son stayed home with him.

His biggest fear was telling his father. This was easier than what was expected. We have had a time dealing with this, but each step is easier. I did have to tell him, that not because he is gay, but because he is my child that I didn’t need to see the public display of affection between the two of them. I told him that I wouldn’t want to see that from his brothers either! I am their mother; I don’t need to see that. Hugging, hand holding, holding each other while watching a movie is fine, but let’s keep it PG.

Because we live in a small town, we have also had to deal with bullying due to this, as well as suicide. So far we have pushed past these issues and dealt with them accordingly. There are still days I worry, but as they say, even when your children are grown, they are still your kids and you will always worry.

“Take things in stride. Talk to your kids. Make sure they know there is an open line of communication with you and that you are someone they can trust. Accept them for their differences, no matter what those are. Love them for those differences. You may find that those differences are something you can enjoy with them as well.”

Love,
Kat

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