Friendships · Relationships

Mean Girls.

​The Regina Georges of the world are the worst, and they are everywhere. Despite my preconceived notions, they don’t disappear once we hit a certain age or milestone. Mommy friends, co-workers, neighbors, so-called friends, or family can easily slip into this Regina-like personality and that is so frightening. 

For those of you who miss the reference; Regina George: a term to describe a girlfriend who eventually becomes your enemy. It was coined from the iconically popular and truly accurate movie “Mean Girls.” Let’s break this down a little more. Who are these mean girls, really?

She will lie to your face and talk behind your back. Nothing you say is safe. You will feel judged. When you don’t feel judged, you are probably being manipulated. She is good at it. But you won’t know about any of this until you either a.) find out the hard way or b.) wise up.

There are lofty expectations that you will feel compelled to maintain while in her wake. You will always feel in her wake. You will feel the need to conform to her ways within different aspects of your life, because otherwise you will not hear the end of it. You will begin to ask yourself what is wrong with you. She will always underestimate you. You will feel like she is comforting you, but really she is pitying you. 

She will always be the best (in her mind) and have the best of everything. Her kids too, the best. What you have is not enough. It is always a competition with her. 

Last but not least (I’m sure there’s more) she will whine when things do not go her way. She will be so good at whining that she will manipulate you into feeling bad for her and siding with her. Then you are confused when you glance in the mirror at yourself feeling ashamed that you showed her empathy.

Phew. Well, that was exhausting. So do we keep toxic friendships like this? Or do we allow that bridge to bridge…to burn with fury? 

Honestly, no one needs the toxicity and negativity that the Regina Georges of the world bring to our lives. We, as moms, or women in general, work so damn hard in everything we do. We do it all for the ones we love. Why do we allow anyone to play those types of games in our lives?

Maybe we enter into a friendship with abounding positivity only to be surprised down the road when it goes off course. Maybe there is a family member who is a one-upper. She is also a Regina George doppelganger.

It is so difficult to navigate these types of relationships. We often get discouraged, wonder what is wrong with ourselves, and even put ourselves down sometimes. Don’t. Let it. Get to you. 

Here’s what I have taken awhile to figure out but I am going to share this with you. YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

You are enough. What you do you for your family…is enough. What you try to teach your baby, children, etc…is enough. What you do everyday…is more than enough. Nothing you do should be compared to anyone, mean girl or not. If someone makes you feel like you are not enough, they do NOT have a place in your life. You are flawsome. Accept your flaws, they are what makes you awesome. They are what makes you YOU. 

Positivity and love are the only things you should feel coming from others. I have learned that those who do not build you up only bring you down. They hold you back in other aspects of your life, not just socially. It is hard to say goodbye to anyone you invest time in, but mean girls have no place in our lives or the lives of our family we work so hard to nurture. 

Never forget, you are enough.

Love, Alison

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