Friendships · Relationships

Friends without Kids: Welcome to the Lion’s Den.

Girl friendships are always a struggle and never straightforward. As women, it is difficult to interpret one another, am I right? Add a busy baby (maybe some more munchkins for those of you with more than one!) and a husband to the mix and it is a catalyst for absolute chaos. Incorporating friend time, especially with your child-less friends or even friends with older children, is sometimes quite the chore.

I like to warn my child-less friends that it might be impossible to have a full adult conversation during this juncture of my life. If you come into the lion’s den, which is my home, this needs to be a climate you enter with caution. There will be some crying, many diaper changes, snack time, nap time, breastfeeding sessions, tantrums, laughter, noisy toys, sweet snuggles, and playtime. If that might be a little too much, we should probably try to schedule a lunch date sometime when daddy is off work. There is a certified guarantee on what our day will be made of.

The best part about enriching, wholesome friendships is that they will totally understand and make you feel comfortable no matter what the atmosphere is.

Sometimes there are people out there who just are not at that point right now. They can’t seem to imagine their one afternoon off being fully submerged in Paw Patrol and dirty diapers. Not only after they leave do you feel guilty, but you also always feel exhausted.

You had to nod your head when you didn’t hear them clearly over the talking book, smile when you were thinking about what the baby was doing as she walked out of sight, chase the baby while paying attention to what their life story of the week entails, maybe even have to cook lunch for everyone, and that is only in the first hour.

Motherhood is a beautiful creature. She produces an indescribable love, incredible motivation, and an indomitable will. On the other side, she also conjures mild jealousy or a sense of superiority.

As women, we look at our life side-by-side with other women. If they have children or a husband, we compare the entire family to our own. Are we alike? Are we different? Will this friendship work based on what values we each hold dear? Are our high school best friends going to be a part of our life now that we have a family or will they keep to themselves? College buddies, where do they fit? Hometown friends, how is that going to work? Friends who chose a path in life which you can not agree on, what do we do about that? Sometimes it is an actual jigsaw puzzle to coordinate adult friendships.

I never would claim to have the intricacies of womanhood figured out. However, I have a sense of priority that helps me guide myself and my family. If a friendship fosters positivity, love, and laughter – hold on to that. Your spouse and your children always come first. But make your friends, who are more like sisters, feel like family. If they can not reciprocate that, then they will be losing out on the best kind of friend love there is to offer. Believe in each other. Trust and confide in one another. 

Love, Alison

– Share some of the best and the worst stories about lady friendships from your lives.

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