Happy Valentine’s Day MomMes & to your munchkins too!
In recognition of Valentine’s Day, I’d like to take the time to be real about relationships.
We have a plethora of different kinds of relationships in our lives. Many of us moms are not playing only one role of daily. In addition we have the roll of wife. (or fiancee/girlfriend), we have the role of daughter to our parents, sister to our siblings, best friend to our besties, daughter-in-law to our in-laws and everyone else’s relative to our extended family. The list goes on and on, especially if we are talking about working moms. (high five to you all too!)
All of these relationships involve somewhat complex maintenance overall to keep everything running like a well-oiled machine. Nothing in life comes easy. This includes our ability to juggle each situation, in every aspect of our lives, and sometimes we really begin to feel the pressure upon us.
I’m not the best at doing my due diligence to prune and water each relationship in my life as best as I could. As a mom, I have trouble remembering where the ice cube tray goes at times. So, I hope that my loved ones can forgive me for my occasional mental absence. I hold solace in the fact that my mom-brain will begin to wear off soon, anyone else?! (which it is totally real, by the way)
Society enforces a busy lifestyle by applying pressure upon us from the four corners of the globe. There is so much hustle and bustle around every holiday, each meal, and every get-together. Making time to nurture the relationships in our lives that we hold most dear is what I want to make a priority of. I know a lot of other mommas feel the same way! So, in blogging about it and discussing it “out loud”, so to speak, I hope for it to hold me accountable.
I discovered that a good place to start is making a list of your loved ones.
I am in the process of doing this right now, so it feels really refreshing to share this with others who might feel the same way! Remember this is all in your much needed me time when the babies are asleep and hubby is watching the game, or you are having your morning coffee to start your day.
Next, I addressed each loved one on my list and thought about how best I can foster our relationship.
When was the last time we spent together? Was I present or was I distracted by the kiddos? When did I call them and have a real conversation last at least? Is there something I’m avoiding discussing with them? And of course, the list goes on as you attempt to evaluate them individually.
I discovered that there is a select relationship, or two, in my life that needs some attention. If I want to maintain those friendships in a healthy way, allowing it to only lift me and my family up, I need to refrain from putting off tough conversations that need to be had. This was helpful for me to recognize. Now, the next step for me will be to address that and engage in that difficult discussion.
Also, being a woman of faith, I have been putting my trust and faith in God that He will guide me. I feel as though I need to allow Him to do His work in my life. This will most definitely provide the solace that I need to know that my intentions are in the right place and that I am moving in the right directions. Believe in the power of prayer.
I have learned when you recognize your faults…admit them.
Your friendships and relationships will flourish. This may be a part of that tough conversation that you are waiting to disappear. But in all honesty, it will never go away. In fact, it will only weigh heavy on your heart. When you are an empath, like me, you always feel the weight of controversy.
When you know you are pulling away from a relationship, ask yourself why.
Is it that person not contributing a positivity to your life anymore or is it that you are afraid to admit something or have that tough conversation with that person? Do you allow people to guilt you? Do you hold on to unnecessary grudges?
I feel ready to forgive and stop holding pretty grudges that weigh me down. Family or friends, loved ones or co-workers, learn to guide your relationship with those people with goodness and love. The relationships in your life will naturally feed off of that positivity.
Thanks for sharing in this relationship evaluation with me. Remember, no matter what we are all human. We all need love, compassion, and mercy. Giving that out into the world only fosters positivity and I hope that I shared a little bit of mine with you all.